College football’s best offseason quotes, from Nick Saban and Jimbo Fisher to realignment

College football is back, and talkin’ season is over. But boy, what a season of discontent it was.

USC and UCLA set off another round of cataclysmic realignment discussions, announcing the plan to leave the Pac-12 for the Big Ten a year after Texas and Oklahoma declared their intentions to leave the Big 12 for the SEC.

Jim Harbaugh flirted with the NFL then returned to Michigan. Ole Miss’ Lane Kiffin dubbed himself the “Portal King.” New USC coach Lincoln Riley brought in star power in transfers like quarterback Caleb Williams and wide receiver Jordan Addison. New LSU coach Brian Kelly did … a lot.

In the middle of it all, two of the five active coaches to have won a national championship got into quite the dust-up when Texas A&M coach Jimbo Fisher got upset at Nick Saban’s allegation to a group of Alabama businessmen.

But even Fisher would agree that the time for all that is behind us. After all, just a little over a week ago, he said it was “time to shut up and play.”

Week 1 is here. Let’s look back one last time on one of the wildest offseasons ever while we wait for kickoff.

We’ll pick up where we left off last season, after Georgia avenged years of pain — as well as a SEC title game loss just weeks before — by knocking off Alabama to win the Dawgs’ first national title in 41 years.

“If we had to lose a national championship, I’d rather lose to one of the former assistants who did a great job for us and has done a great job with his program and his team, and they deserve it.”
— Nick Saban, after Georgia beat Alabama 33-18

“People ask the question, ‘How does it feel to be hunted?’ We will not be hunted at the University of Georgia. I can promise you that. The hunting we do will be from us going the other direction. We’re not going to sit back and be passive.”
— Georgia coach Kirby Smart, at SEC media days, on life after winning a national championship

After Arkansas basketball knocked off No. 1 Gonzaga in the Sweet 16 of the NCAA tournament, football coach Sam Pittman decided to debut the dramatic lighting on his new slobberin’ hog statue at his lake house in Little Rock in a show of solidarity.

Fisher and Saban’s spat dominated the news until USC and UCLA stunned the country. Let’s revisit how these two former colleagues got here.

“We were second in recruiting last year, A&M was first. A&M bought every player on their team. Made a deal for name, image, and likeness. We didn’t buy one player. But I don’t know if we will be able to sustain that in the future because more and more people are doing it.”
— Saban, on May 18, speaking to a group of business leaders in Birmingham about how college football recruiting had changed.

Saban also added, “Jackson State paid a guy $1 million last year that was a really good Division I player to come to the school. And they bragged about it. Nobody did anything about it,” which Jackson State coach Deion Sanders tweeted was a lie.

“Some people think they’re God. Go dig into how God did his deal. You may find out … a lot of things you don’t want to know. We build him up to be the czar of football. Go dig into his past, or anybody’s that’s ever coached with him. You can find out anything you want to find out, what he does and how he does it. It’s despicable.”
— Fisher’s reply, in a hastily called news conference where he ripped Saban, calling him a narcissist, saying “we’re done” and saying Saban had called him but he didn’t answer

“Look, I should have never singled anybody out, and I wasn’t saying that either one of those schools did anything wrong. I didn’t intend it to mean they were buying players, but more that you’re able to buy players now and it’s totally legal.”
— Saban, that same day, to ESPN

“What people don’t realize is that it’s not like we ever talked a lot. Since I’ve been here, we’ve probably talked on the phone five different times. He might call me about something or need a favor, which is still fine. I don’t have a problem with that, and I would still help if that was the case.”
— Fisher, on the state of the relationship with Saban, on Aug. 19

“Maybe I can get better from some of these things … I don’t feel any differently. I really don’t because I don’t take things personally. You know, some people take things personally — when they win and when they lose. I mean, when you play pickup basketball, some people take things personally and some people don’t.”
— Saban, on Aug. 25 on how he viewed the spat

“I called (Michigan athletic director Warde Manuel) and I asked him if he wanted me to be the head coach. And he said, ‘Yes, 100%.’ And I said, ‘OK then. That’s what I want to do.’ And I told him, ‘Warde, this will not be a reoccurring theme every year. This was a one-time thing.’ … From here on out, I’m working at the pleasure of the University of Michigan, because that’s, in my heart, where I want to be.”
— Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh, to the Detroit Free Press, after interviewing with the Minnesota Vikings on national signing day

“Certainly history is history, and whether it’s positive, whether it’s inconsequential, whatever it may be, it’s still history and part of your program. We’re just moving in a direction that right now doesn’t involve it.”
— Miami coach Mario Cristobal, on retiring the Hurricanes’ Turnover Chain

At Big 12 media day, the Oklahoma State coach compared the latest realignment rumors to a 1970 pop hit and was in awe of Karen Carpenter’s recording prowess.

“Well, we all know, conference realignment, it’s kind of almost the old Karen Carpenter ‘We’ve Only Just Begun’ concept. I think it’s just getting started, in my opinion … I like the Carpenters. I heard that song the other day, and the first thing I thought about was conference realignment. I think that she cut that record on the first take. That was a one-take deal.”

On Texas and OU still being in the Big 12 until (allegedly) 2025 despite plans to move to the SEC, and the advice he has for new Big 12 commissioner Brett Yormark:

“It’s interesting. We go to conference meetings, and OU and Texas are in there. They’re still in the conference. But I’m guessing when they leave, they’re scratching down things that can help them when they’re in the SEC. So it is an unusual situation. I think there’s a business side of it that nowadays people say, ‘It is what it is.’ Which 10 years ago, they might not even let them in meetings. The new commissioner, I mean, honestly, if I was him, I wouldn’t let OU and Texas in any meetings.”

No coach might be more ready to play than Brian Kelly, whose every off-field move was scrutinized after leaving Notre Dame for LSU.

Brian Kelly’s impromptu accent was dissected across the internet.

As were his dance moves.

And Lane Kiffin jumped in on the Twitter chorus with a question of his own after another dancing video surfaced.

Two of the Pac-12’s crown jewels furthered the reshaping of the college landscape with a stunning move to the Big Ten.

“I don’t believe there’s a college administrator in the country that didn’t recognize that clearly there were two conferences that were separating themselves from everyone else. That particular [Oklahoma-Texas] move further emphasized that.”
— USC athletic director Mike Bohn, to the Los Angeles Times

“We wanted to operate in a position of strength, and that was the Big Ten.”
— UCLA AD Martin Jarmond

The Big Ten announced on Aug. 18 that it had just completed a seven-year media rights agreement with Fox, CBS and NBC that is set to bring in more than $7 billion, distributing between $80 million to $100 million per year to each of its 16 members (up from $54.3 million in 2019-20).

“You’re going to wake up watching Big Ten football and go to bed watching Big Ten football. So that’s exciting for our players, exciting for our fans. Will there be a travel component to it? There is, but we’re going to Dublin in the opener, so it won’t be that big of a deal.”
— Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald

“We’re in a race with the SEC … We’ve got to make sure that we and they are battling back and forth, and [USC and UCLA] help us make our league better. When our league is better, that helps all of us recruit better.”
— Rutgers coach Greg Schiano

“I got asked, ‘How are you going to feel when you play your first conference game at SC?’ Just hope I’m f—ing still there.”
— Wisconsin coach Paul Chryst, at Big Ten media days July 27

After an offseason of angst at Oklahoma following the departure of Riley and several key transfers, a spring game celebration drew more than 75,000 fans.

“I got to talk to [Venables] yesterday in his office for 30 minutes and I was ready to run through a wall. We’re back. We’ve never left, but we’re back. It’s pretty special to have this place packed like this for a moment like this.”
— Former Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield, speaking to the record crowd for the debut of new coach Brent Venables and a celebration for Mayfield’s new statue

“A chicken is a chicken but a fighting gamecock is something different. This is dumbing down the Gamecocks. Whenever a new coach goes to a school that’s been struggling, you always hear a statement similar to, ‘You’ve got to change the culture.’ I don’t know what culture in our day and age means, but if it means making a gamecock look like a chicken, or not hurting him because it might make the chicken feel good, it’s not preserving what we’ve built. This is dumbing down our culture.”
— Ron Albertelli, former owner of South Carolina mascot Big Spur, who is upset that the new mascot handlers, Beth and Van Clark, do not trim the comb, or the red thing on the top of roosters’ heads, like he used to

“How well I clean house. I’ve been cleaning house on vacation. I get a list every day. I try to play golf in the morning and Miss Terry gives me a list when I get back. Run the sweeper. Take out the garbage. Pledge the refrigerator. Nobody knows how well I do all of those things.”
— Alabama coach Nick Saban, on what he wishes people knew about him

“I have signed a lot of mustard bottles and golf balls, which normally I haven’t. It’s been a unique off-season.”
— Lane Kiffin at SEC media days, after Tennessee fans rained some of those objects down on the field in his return to Knoxville with Ole Miss last year.

“Yeah, I don’t know a whole lot about him; I think he was down at the frat house at a keg party or something where they got him from. We’ve got some conditioning work to do with my guy. We just said, ‘Hey, someone go find a punter around campus’ and so we found one who actually used to punt in Division 1. You never know.'” — Kiffin, on adding a new punter (Charlie Pollock, who originally signed to kick for Nevada, but was just a student at Ole Miss) to the roster in mid-August.

This is far from the only transfer Kiffin added. Jaxson Dart and Zach Evans highlight a loaded transfer class for the Rebels.

“I’m focused on our guys that want to be here at Pitt. … Jordan’s a great kid, great player. We had fun with him for two years. I think we helped him get where he is today. I think we helped him win a Biletnikoff and be the player that he is. I think Kenny Pickett was pretty good. He had one of the best quarterbacks in the country throwing the ball every day. I think sometimes people forget how they got where they are.”
— Pitt coach Pat Narduzzi, on his disappointment after wide receiver Jordan Addison’s transfer to USC

“My first month here, I’ve learned probably more in a month than I have in my college career, which sounds crazy. But with these pro-style-type systems, the film we’re watching, the plays we’re running I think it elevates everybody’s game mentally and physically on the field.”
— South Carolina transfer quarterback Spencer Rattler, who was benched last year by Lincoln Riley at Oklahoma in favor of Caleb Williams

Caleb Williams is learning new things, too, like the right way to the practice field at USC after also leaving Oklahoma.

After Russell Wilson made a video telling Denver fans, “Broncos Nation, let’s ride,” seemingly every college football social media account got in on the action.

Nebraska receiver Decoldest Crawford made the coolest NIL ad of the offseason.

Jim Mora brought some new terminology to UConn.

Now that it’s here, it’s time to pregame. Better start planning now. Arkansas coach Sam Pittman is counting on it.

“I think the first couple series are going to be really important to kind of figure out what they’re bringing to the party. Some guys bring iced tea, and some guys bring liquor. You’ve just got to figure out what they’re bringing.
— Pittman, on facing an unknown in a Cincinnati offense with two quarterbacks still competing to replace four-year starter Desmond Ridder

A decidedly less folksy Luke Fickell responded on Tuesday.

“I don’t have a whole lot of friends and I don’t get invited to a whole lot of parties. So I don’t know what I’ll do. I just know who I am. And I guess they’ll find out.”
— Fickell, on getting down to business.

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